Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
