I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
