Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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