ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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