): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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