ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
