**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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