Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
They have beer where we have blood.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
