then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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