Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I deserve this hangover.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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