woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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