oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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