Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
