You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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