In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
