I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
