not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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