We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
