well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
