He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
