Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
