I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
