I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
