Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
