I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
