Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
