this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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