I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
