You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
