So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
