she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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