The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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