do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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