Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
smell my finger.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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