I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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