just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
