u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
