return my video game
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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