Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
