that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
