She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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