So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
