I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
