She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
