the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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