I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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