he wants to bone in the snuggie
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
