Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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