that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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