you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
