There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
