11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Your dad touched me again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
