I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
