You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
