so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
