Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
