I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
