I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
