Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
